Tag Archives: keyboard cat

Just to make sure you know that I’m cooler than all of you

Literally the day after I end a post on my shitty blog by killing myself and having Keyboard Cat play me off that meme by having Keyboard Cat play me off it shows up in a hugely popular post on Metafilter. I could have been cool like that! I could have got, what, 123 comments and 68 fucking favorites. I could have made a meme jump to our good friend Waxy (who got it from some guy’s Del.ic.ious and it was tagged via:metafilter), the kind of guy who could take it places. Jesus.

I thought it wasn’t good enough for Metafilter! I thought it was really really obscure and just a continuation of many other memes. Hell, one of the videos is just the kid zombie who says “I like turtles” all over again. I guess I was wrong.

And man, this wasn’t the first time. I watched the following video of dogs dressed as people ages ago and thought it was the bees knees.

I post it to the MeFight Club forum and guess where it ends up the next day? And from a guy who I don’t think is a member of MeFight Club.

I have the worst of luck with these things, but at least time there is proof, proof I say that I’m cooler than all of y’all.

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How to read this blog

Just imagine that everything I say is happening while you are making sweet gay love to a videogame character. Then your mom calls to ask how your classes are going and you pleasantly chat while Marcus Fenix lays on his belly sticking his cute little rump in the air. Eventually he gets annoyed and leaves, but you don’t care cause Gears of War sucked anyway. Actually, that’s a lie, it probably wasn’t that bad but you couldn’t get past the whole army of bros macho bullshit to actually play the thing.

You briefly conceder working on that paper about criminal rights in east Asia but instead bum around Metafilter for a while which makes you feel smarter than writing a horrible paragraph about forced confessions ever would. Eventually 5 o’clock in the morning comes around and you drink a few cups of coffee and actually start to work on that paper. When you turn it in three hours later it’s surprisingly adequate.

Oh shit! It's Nikola Tesla and his balls of flame!

Oh shit! It's Nikola Tesla and his balls of flame!

For lunch you have a bagel with cream cheese and a Cherry Coke and you realize that nothing bad ever happens to you. Then a man who may or may not look like David Bowie walks up behind you. He slowly builds up balls of flame in his hands and looks at you threateningly. You begin to bargain with him that even though you aren’t doing anything productive with your life right now there is potential in everyone, even you. He laughs and says that this never was about that at all. Soon you are a burnt to a crisp, and keyboard cat plays you off.

Godspeed you gay, game playing college student.