Paul: Now, I know I wasn’t supposed to get you anything, but I saw this and thought of you.
John: Oh, um, thanks.
Paul: Open it! Open it!
John: The Path Of The Green Man? Gay… Wicca? But I’m not…
Paul: Look, I know that it’s been hard for you, but it’s time you came out as gay wiccan. You own all the seasons of Charmed, you have that crazy wood necklace thing, you wrote that fantasy book back in college…
John: …wait wait wait, that’s something else entirely.
Paul: It’s okay! I won’t tell anyone, you can tell other people whenever you’d like, or not at all. But always know that I’m totally okay that you believe in gnomes or whatever. Okay?
John: Oh. Good to know.
Paul: Just, you know, try to be so obvious all the time, okay babe?
Paul: Oh, um, just don’t broadcast your wiccaness to everyone all the time. Like, when you painted our apartment’s walls green and had us all read Harry Potter, I was like, ugggg, too much witches, you know?
John: The… Fuck?
Paul: I love you John!
So here’s how it went down. I brought up a song by the doyouinverts in a forum discussion over at MeFight Club. The band name in question is a reference to the common option in games to invert the y-axis when it comes to camera controls, meaning that if you move “down” on that camera control the camera will look “up.” For some people that’s more natural, but it’s all Dvorak to me.
Anyway! Another member at MeFight responded to the “the doyouinverts” with:
Uh, son, we don’t hold with Proust ’round here.
Having no idea what he was blathering about, I asked what he meant. Here is where it all changed forever:
Proust self-identified as an “invert” and thought straight people were abnormal. I thought you were making an obscure literary reference!
Oh no, doyouinvert isn’t a literary reference! Oh no no no not at all.
Still, this now makes the band name into a pleasingly vague sexual reference. And this one has psychological depth! Thanks Proust. I mean, ‘the doyouinverts’ was sort of sexual before (money lyric: “When was the last time/ you let me invert my stick?”). Now though, oh boy.
So yea, I guess I now have a new private meme. Just to let you know, if I’m asking you if you invert it means that I want to know if you are sexually attracted to those of the same gender (“don’t care if you’re bi or gay/ just that you invert, hay hay hay”). Also, if I start laughing when I notice that you invert your controls you now know why.
Oh! And if you want to know, the song I was referencing was 7 out of 10. Someone was rating comments on a ten point scale and mentioned that he graded “AHRD.” True to his word, no one has got a score above a 7.23 yet.
I know that this is the internet and the rules of etiquette haven’t been set in stone yet, but if you are going to follow any code on the internet please make sure that you don’t call people out for over-posting on personal pages. No one is making you read what they post, and on systems like Twitter and Facebook there are easy ways to avoid their activity. Since what they are saying is not directed at you, unlike the direct messages that make up Facebook spam and other things worth getting mad over, you can’t say that they are really wasting your time. In the same vein, what they are doing is not on a shared space like a blog or a forum so there is no harm to a collective space being done.
It’s only acceptable at all to bring it up this kind of posting if it’s such a problem that you stop reading what they do, and even then only in the most polite tone possible. There is probably room for improvement in one’s posting habits if their content pushes people away, but that is such a small sin that making any kind of fuss about it only serves to make you look like a jerk.
As you might expect, there is something that happened recently that sparked this post. I’m not going to say much about it, but suffice it to say that the people complaining about it were doubly pathetic because the posts they were so worked up about were only 140 characters long.